A Psychologist Explains: How Do You Recognise Red Flags in a Relationship?
Someone who lies, someone who is manipulative, someone who gives you the ‘silent treatment’ during a conflict are all examples of red flags in a relationship.
The above may sound logical in black and white, but recognising these red flags in your own relationship or when you are dating someone is not always so easy. Especially if you viewing the relationship with rose-tinted glasses and may not see the obvious signs.
In this guide, psychologist Judith Klenter explains how to recognise red flags in a relationship or while dating. In this article, we will explore:
What Are Red Flags?
A red flag is a warning signal, says psychologist Judith Klenter. “A red flag is behaviour that indicates that a (potential) partner does not suit you. That behaviour can be a number of things, such as someone who constantly talks about an ex-partner on the first date.” Are these red flags the same for everyone? Yes and no, Judith believes. “There are red flags that are, or should be, fairly universal. Think violent behaviour, being overly jealous or controlling and any behaviour that has a tendency for abuse or manipulation.”
At the same time, something that is a red flag for one person ous relationship, it’s a red flag if your partner is on a dating app, but in a polyamorous relationship, you may have agreed to this.”
Which Red Flags Do You Definitely Not Want to Ignore?
Recognising red flags encourages you to take a step back, investigate these behaviours and consider how they impact you. Judith: “If your partner or date’s behaviour is questionable to you, you can ask yourself whether you see a danger of escalation in this. Once you identify a red flag, you can assess how this behaviour is impacting you, its impact and consequences, and how you want to proceed.”
And What About Green Flags?
Conversely, there are also green flags: signs that a relationship is safe, healthy and positive for your mental well-being.